Tuesday, February 21, 2012

"And a Friend's a Friend forever..."

I dislike that song.
A lot.
Recently I ran across this quoted statement on Facebook:

I am slowly and painfully learning that more people we come across in life will bear the title of "acquaintance" rather than "friend". Thank you to the few I hold so very dear.
I will be perfectly frank, the first thing I thought after reading that first sentence was:
"Thank God!"
Let me explain. I have lived a many different places in my youth. When you move around a lot you have to make friends quickly or be alone. I don't always like being alone with myself, I can drive myself crazy pretty quick. I'm probably driving some people crazy even as they read this. Usually, within a week of moving to a new place, I'm asking someone if I can be their friend. In this manner, I've had a lot of friends, most of whom are acquaintances and not friends, but that's a good thing. Concurrent with learning that true friends are hard to find, I learned that friendship is something intimate, and shouldn't be entered into lightly, nor should it be shared often. When I make a friend, I am very loyal to that person. I will not allow that person to suffer harm if I can help it. I will stand with them, stand up for them, follow them, lead them, counsel them, ask them questions, annoy them, and even suffer myself to be annoyed by them. This is different from being open with someone. To have community you need openess. Being open means you can say to someone "Hey, me too!" Openess begins with basic you're-alive-and-I'm-alive-and-we-are-both-people love, and ends in conversation. From there, you will need to decide on whether to make that person a friend. I'd say that I am ready to start becoming friends with someone when they've seen everything in my closet, and respond "Cool!", and I believe that I've seen everything in their closet, and can respond "Cool!" even if we both are a little uncomfortable with what we see.

I've been doing some thinkings about relationship formation, community, cohesion, society, individuality, and how it all orchestrates to enrich the kingdom of God.
  • I've had to think about what happens when someone I've trusted betrays the work we've done together.
  • I've had to accept myself when I've betrayed the work I've done with other people.
  • I've had to think about 'my neighbor'.
  • I've had to accept being alone.
  • I've had to follow the rational, logical train of implication of Marriage: "The two shall become one flesh" (if 2 =1 then when you get married, you are still alone)
  • I'm pretty sure I can't be a friend to myself because I'm my own worst enemy. I'll have to think about that some more.
In conclusion: Dear facebook poster: All is well! It's a good thing to have few friends.

Here's something that ROCKS! Consider it an apology for that atrocious song at the top:

We place ourselves down in a position we think is safe,
the marks of the people that walk on us leave a trace,
of where we should act then they should react.
Brought up, and beat down, and then the luster lacks,
and stacks up on the minds of the ill-content.
Not every angel sent before you is even heaven sent.
We look into the eyes of the people that follow.
Time to follow the sheep the battle`s not won.

You`re just a snail, but you will never see
Surrounded by the circle of salt, that`s your destiny
You`re just a snail, but now you`ll never
Praying to God don`t let the wind blow

You lay your cards down and it`s a hundred and ten percent,
but then the thirty- five percent of the people who haven`t spent.
The time to get to know you as a person,
they just stand behind you backstabbing and straight up cursing.
Playing you down to be something that your not.
The forked tongue of the wicked rambles off piping hot killing you softly
but you will feel the sting for ever.
when was the last time your heart had been severed.

You`ve fallen twenty steps back to see what`s two steps ahead,
and then they kick you to the side of the road left for dead
because ther concern would be to not deal with ya.
To the rest of the open ears you know you have to paint a picture.
To open wounds and emirs them into salt,
there as stupid as chicken`s, but still it`s not there fault.
They just don`t know what it means to take it face to face, be long after.
Yes they leave a bad taste

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