I am sitting here looking at myself in the reflection of my laptop, wondering exactly how I can complain about being tired. I then realized that I want to complain because of how redicously out of shape I've become. I may not be out of shape compared to you, but I am compared to where I was two years ago, and I didn't think I was in all that great of shape then. I am definately down from my peak performance age of about 27 when I was working landscaping, just married, and i had recently (re)discovered the joys of real off road biking. Non-coincidently this was immediately preceding the birth of my firstborn.
Stress + time = out-of-shapeness. That's my secret formula for the day.
out-of-shapeness + time = inertia. Inertia is my enemy, my oldest foe, my greatest fear, my sure adversary. Inertia wants me dead quicker, and wants me happy while dieing (one day I will do a post entitled "I don't want to die happy" and it will make sense). It's easy to submit to inertia and die. As soon as a course change is needed, there is inertia, as soon as the course change is no longer needed there is inertia. There's inertia when I wake up, and when I lay down...
I've been undergoing several changes over the last few years, changes that seriously impact my identity and relationship with those around me. I got to thinking about these changes critically when I read this tweet from @ArronChambers, a man I know, love and respect:
"prepping my message for #CelebrateRecovery tonight @journeygreeley. i'm speaking on #confession...which is still good for the soul :)"In my subtle war against inertia, I had been doing more reading in my Bible, and recently re-read one of my favorite books, First John. We all know what 1 John 1:8-10 says:
8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
My confession is this:
I've been lazy. I've let inertia beat me up. I've chosen good things and not God things. I've take the easy way, from mac-n-cheese instead of (better tasting) grilled chicken and salad, to self-centered church instead of Christianity. I believe that the only way a Christian can live and die is under the philosophy of "I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead."
Inertia's been my enemy a long time, and I've always been fighting it, and I'll even be fighting it when I can't fight it no longer. Until then I am fighting it using the following actions:
- I will grow as much of my food as I can. That way I know what I'm getting. When I can't grow my own, I will buy as healthy as I can.
- I will read my Bible every day. I believe that change happens best when you change according to the rules of the One who made you.
- I will exercise every day. More on this to come later, but after posting this, I am taking my girls on a bike ride. It will be short, I will sweat, and it will probably hurt when I get done. Yet, I will do this.
- I will eat a hot pepper. It's cathartic, and I LIKE IT!
My basic strategy is this: "When you are not beating inertia, inertia is beating you" and I accept that I can't win. What I can't accept is that I can't fight.
I love my wife!